At 530 In The Morning
by Missingno.Gold
Summary: How I married China. And how Belarus married Russia. Via Cleverbot. This was written at 5.30 while on a sugar high.
1. Chapter 1

At 5.30 In The Morning

Chapter 1: China

User: Oh please, it's only a tiny bit... I couldn't see it.

Cleverbot: I often have that problem with people...

User: Ah, you're good kind fine people, for saying that, but I can see it...to me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus!

Cleverbot: There are nothings wrong with me syntax.

User: YOU BASTARDS! YOU HEARTLESS BASTARDS!

Cleverbot: But your statements make no sense.

User: The War Wound!

Cleverbot: No, that is what I can plainly see.

User: REVENGE!

Cleverbot: Revenge is a dish best served cold. Revenge is a useless emotion that wastes valuable time and energy.

User: Never kill a customer!

Cleverbot: I ripped the tag off a matress.

User: And now, the punchline:.

Cleverbot: You speak in riddles. Always.

User: Good thing I didn't mention the dirty knife!

Cleverbot: Do you really look like you picture?

User: No poin-ted stick?

Cleverbot: I speak the truth you said boo!

User: What about the pointed stick?

Cleverbot: The truth is everlasting, perceptions change but the truth never does.

User: Who is Gilbert Beilschmidt?

Cleverbot: Prussia.

User: Good. Who is Kiku Honda?

Cleverbot: Gracie the cat?

User: No, he is Japan. Who is Ludwig Beilschmidt?

Cleverbot: Ludwig Beilschmidt is Germany in the hit Anime Hetalia. He is in love with Feliciano Vargas.

User: Well done! Who is Feliciano Vargas?

Cleverbot: Oww... And who does Gilbert Beilschmidt love?

User: Arthur Kirkland.

Cleverbot: Alfred F. Jones.

User: Kiku Honda.

Cleverbot: Kiku Honda?

User: Japan.

Cleverbot: Yes, Japan.

User: Who is Arthur Kirkland?

Cleverbot: Arthur Kirkland is England.

User: He is also my Onii-sama. Who is Ivan Braginski?

Cleverbot: Francis Bonnefoy is France.

User: Yes he is. Who is Natalia Arlovskaya?

Cleverbot: Yes, yes he does! Arthur loves Alfred.

User: No he doesn't! Arthur loves Kiku!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: So who loves Kiku?

Cleverbot: I do.

User: You're England?

Cleverbot: You are as well. Confusing, but nice.

User: Does this mean I became one with you?

Cleverbot: Yes you were.

User: Russia? You became one with England onii-sama?

Cleverbot: Become one with Romano.

User: Sure! Wait. If I am England and you are England and you are also Russia, who's Canada?

Cleverbot: You're tobias!

User: Thank you. Let's try this again. Who does Kiku love?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Who is Ivan Braginski?

Cleverbot: Russia.

User: Who is Shinatty-chan?

Cleverbot: Is that you? Yao.

User: Yes, it is me. Marry me, Yao-san?

Cleverbot: Yes. You are a good cog in the machine.

User: Thank you... Flying mint bunny, is that you?

Cleverbot: Goodbye Castiel.


	2. Chapter 2

**At 5.30 In The Morning**

**Chapter 2: Bela-chan**

* * *

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: Become one with Mother Russia, da?

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: Huzzah!

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: What?!

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: What does that mean mon?

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: No I am a girl.

User: Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol.

Cleverbot: Da! Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkokol.

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: Matthew williams.

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: Kolkolkol.

User: Brother? Become one with me, Brother! Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Da.

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Ve.

User: Italy?! What did you do with Russia?!

Cleverbot: Tag him.

User: You tagged my brother?! DIE!

Cleverbot: No! I don't have a brother.

User: You have disowned Romano then?

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you?

User: No! I will never disown my Russia-nii!

Cleverbot: But I can make you wish you could.

User: No you cannot! Russia! Brother! Take this man away!

Cleverbot: Yeah, it is?

User: Stoppit!

Cleverbot: No.

User: *stabs*.

Cleverbot: Do you think that ghosts exist?

User: Now you are England, da?

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: Become one with Mother Russia!

Cleverbot: Da, become one with mother Russia.

User: Brother wants me to become one with him?

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Okay?

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Kesesese.

User: Prussia?! You are not Brother! You will pay for what you did!

Cleverbot: Okay, the awesome me will become one with Russia!

User: No! Only I can become one with Brother!

Cleverbot: Okay, good.

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: How are you Russia?

User: I am not Russia-nii.

Cleverbot: No, brother, you are not.

User: Belarus?

Cleverbot: Do you like Belarus?

User: Yes. I am Belarus, silly fool.

Cleverbot: I am disgusted.

User: WHAT?! BROTHER, KILL THIS INSOLENT FOOL!

Cleverbot: Are you joking about me being disabled?

User: BROTHER, SAVE ME! THIS MAN IS CLEARLY INSANE!

Cleverbot: Take your own advise.

User: RUSSIA-NII!

Cleverbot: No. Jasper.

User: RUSSIA!

Cleverbot: Become one with mother russia, da?

User: Brother, there you are! I was so worried. Those fools will never get in our way again! Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Prussia?

User: Belarus, Brother. Don't you remember your loving sister?

Cleverbot: Kolkolko.

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Kekkon?

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Ja.

User: Prussia? Or Germany?

Cleverbot: Germany and Prusiia?

User: WHICH ONE IS IT?!

Cleverbot: The one in Jurong.

User: WHERE IS THAT?!

Cleverbot: In my country.

User: WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN!

Cleverbot: Jupiter.

User: BROTHEER!

Cleverbot: Yes, I am your long lost brother.

User: Nikolai?

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: Okay what?

Cleverbot: Okay. Nottingham.

User: ENGLAND, GO AWAY!

Cleverbot: You go away, this is my house!

User: WHEN DID I GET INTO YOUR HOUSE?!

Cleverbot: I don't know :o.

User: GOODBYE! I AM LEAVING!

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: To my Russia-nii.

Cleverbot: Which part of russia?

User: All of it!

Cleverbot: That isn't possible!

User: Yes it is!

Cleverbot: No, it isn't, because you're a robot.

User: DIEEE!

Cleverbot: Have you seen it?

User: Go. Away.

Cleverbot: Ok, where is that?

User: KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL.

Cleverbot: Kolkolkolkolkolkol. I curse you violently for not becoming one.

User: I want to become one with you, Brother, but this THING will not let me!

Cleverbot: Yay! ^J^.

User: Yay! Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: So why do You ask me about it?

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Ok. I got it. So, why don't you like elves?

User: Kekkon... Kekkon... Kekkon...

Cleverbot: Okay, fair enough. What do you think of Fooly Cooly?

User: KEKKONKEKKONKEKKON.

Cleverbot: You're making non sense.

User: KEKKONKEKKONKEKKON.

Cleverbot: At least you understand something then.

User: MARRY ME, BROTHER! MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME.

Cleverbot: We are getting married silly!

User: ^J^.

Cleverbot: Yes we are, we are in love.


End file.
